Is this thing working yet?

Well I dunno if you saw Lauren's comment in my last post (if not, best go read it now if the rest of this is to make sense), but I will happily take up the challenge on account I don't like to shy away from things like this.

I'll do my best but, as there is no-one else here right now to take them, don't expect anything proffessional.

Call back later, but not if you are of an excitable or nervous disposition, like the taste of capers or have a linguini shaped birthmark on your right buttock. These people are known to faint away at the sight of.. well, anything really.

Nothing to post today, so I am gonna leave all the typing up to you people.

Click the 'comments' link and leave a message, even if you've never done it before.

Go on. I don't bite. Unless you want me to, of course, but I'd be oh-so-gentle..

I am not a religious person, and sorry to those who are that might be reading this.. but I just had to post this pic..





You can rely on them...

If someone can come up with something more inspirational, lemme know? :(


Later that day...

Woohoo! Got one!



The eyes belong to Jude Law, the person. Famous I believe. Yes.

Thanks Sonia! I owe ya a big hug and I'll get you that bottle of scotch you asked me for a while back. The big one that comes free with the case of twelve you wanted. Will it all last you till the end of the month tho? Should I get two cases? Let me know..

More search engine queries that have led people down the slippery path to this blog..

fingerbob mouse
Anyone remember that program?

schematic stethescope
Who says we aren't educational??

Smoking The Devil's Johnson
I thought this was a no-smoking zone..

covered up ass
And rightly so. It'd be rude otherwise.

"was so hairy"
Clearly looking for pics of Tasha's back, before she shaved it..

canada's nude woman
Just the one, mind you. This person obviously didn't want to be up all night, looking at lots of them.

We aim to please!

Ooh err.. get you - so it's MR Armafair now, is it? ;)

You think you are SOO clever, Tasha, coming up with all those bullshit quotes that you know deep down that we don't really mean.

You deserve a right good kick up the ass big hug for that, all the same.

YAY, go forth and multiply Tasha!!

Mauahaha.. we all lubs ya really..

[come fly with me, let's fly let's fly away..]
(when's this stuff gonna wear off? see you later.. gonna go play with the blue fairies that just came in thru the front door.....)

p.s. Remember kiddies: drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it's the scenic route..

And since Mr. Armafair has decided to be so chauvanistic recently I (Tasha) give you this .. our guide to the male language ...

"It's a guy thing."
Really means...."There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

"Can I help with dinner?"
Really means...."Why isn't it already on the table?"

"Uh huh," "Sure, honey," or "Yes, dear."
Really means....Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

"It would take too long to explain."
Really means..."I have no idea how it works.

"We're going to be late."
Really means...."Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac."

"Take a break, honey, you're working too hard."
Really means...."I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"That's interesting, dear."
Really means...."Are you still talking?"

"It's a really good movie."
Really means...."It's got guns, knives, fast cars, and beautiful women."

"That's women's work."
Really means...."It's difficult, dirty, and thankless."

"You know how bad my memory is."
"Really means.... "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the Vehicle Identification Numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."

"I was just thinking about you, and got you these roses."
Really means.... "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."

"Oh, don't fuss. I just cut myself, it's no big deal."
Really means.... "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit I'm hurt."

"Hey, I've got my reasons for what I'm doing."
Really means.... "...And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."

"I can't find it."
Really means.... "It didn't fall right into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

"What did I do this time?"
Really means.... "What did you catch me at?"

"I heard you."
Really means.... "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me."

"You know I could never love anyone else."
Really means.... "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."

"You look terrific."
Really means.... "Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit. I'm starving."

"I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are."
Really means.... "No one will ever see us alive again."

"We share the housework."
Really means.... "I make the messes, she cleans them up."

I guess I've been a bit one-sided with a lot of the posts here.. most are chauvanistic in nature in a wild attempt at being even just a little bit funny.
Well, I consider myself told. I have had an email from a friend who has put my right on the reason for women being the way they are - cranky - at times* (my italics). So men, here's the reason why women suffer so much with PMT (I understand this means Permenant Menstrual Tension), and more besides:

Why women are cranky

We start to "bud" in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to find anything that comes in contact with those tender, blooming buds hurts so bad it brings us to tears. Enter the almighty, uncomfortable training bra contraption the boys in school will snap until we have calluses on our backs.
Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner). Along with those budding boobs, we now bloat, we cramp, we get the hormone crankies, have to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn't even know we had.
Our next little rite of passage (premarital or not) is having sex for the first time which is about as much fun as having a ramrod push your uterus through your nostrils (IF he did it right and didn't end up with his little cart before his horse), leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about.
Then it's off to Motherhood where we learn to live on dry crackers and water for a few months so we don't spend the entire day leaning over Brother John. Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we learn to live with the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking our innards night and day making us wonder if we're having Rosemary's Baby. Our once flat bellies now look like we swallowed a watermelon whole and we pee our pants everytime we sneeze. When the big moment arrives, the dam in our blessed Nether Regions will invariably burst right in the middle of the mall and we'll waddle with our big cartoon feet moaning in pain all the way to the ER. Then it's huff and puff and beg to die while the OB says, "Please stop screaming, Mrs. Hearmeroar. Calm down and push. Just one more (or 10 ) good push," warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the bastard (and hubby) square in the nose for making us cram a wiggling, mushroom-headed 10lb. bowling ball through a keyhole.
After that, it's time to raise those angels only to find that when all that "cute" wears off, the beautiful little darlings morph into walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines.
The teen years. Need I say more? The kids are almost grown now and we women hit our voracious sexual prime in our mid-30's to early 40's while hubby had his somewhere around his 18th birthday (which just happens to be the reason all that early hot man sex got you pregnant in the first place).
Now we hit the grand finale: "The Menopause," the Grandmother of all womanhood. It's either take the HRT and chance cancer in those now seasoned "buds" or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or, sweat like a hog in July, wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the head off anything that moves.
Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men when men get off so easy INCLUDING the icing on life's cake: being able to pee in the woods without soaking their socks...
Now I love being a woman but "Womanhood" would make the Great Ghandi a tad crabby. Women are the "weaker sex."?
Yeah right. Bite me

Thanks Dream, now I think I understand.
Of course, you have to give men some credit - they have to live with the woman going thru all this...

Anybody have any idea why your veins look blue, even when the blood that runs thru' them is red?

I only need to grow my hair, have a sex change and shave my face and I could be..




Well ok, I might look more like the guy on the left (ok, maybe I don't), and I sold my bike (which wasn't a Harley and my next won't be either..) but hell, me being Barbie is a scary, scary thought..

(link sneekily stolen/borrowed/given and took back/shared* from Allison, at Alicat's Domain - thanks Ali ;) )

(*delete as apropriate**)

(**correct the spelling of this as apropriate)

Don't tell Brian Hughes, of Rant Of The Week, but...

An operation at Nottingham hospital in January 1989 ended prematurely when the patient exploded. The casualty, an 82-year-old woman, was undergoing electrosurgery for cancer. The blast was attributed to an unusual build-up of stomach gases ignited by the sparks.

...wouldn't want to worry him about his hospital stay and what might occur there.

I used to think my brain was my favourite part of my body... then I realised what was making me think that!

THE JOYS OF BEING MALE

1. Your rear is never a factor in a job interview.
2. Your orgasms are real. Always.
3. Your last name stays put.
4. The garage is all yours.
5. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
6. Chocolate is just another snack.
7. You can be president.
8. You can wear a white shirt to a water theme park.
9. Foreplay is optional.
10. You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
11. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
12. You don't care if someone doesn't notice your new haircut.
13. The world is your urinal.
14. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
15. You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.
16. Same work... more pay.
17. Wrinkles add character.
18. You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
19. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
20. If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
21. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
22. The occasional well rendered belch is practically expected.
23. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
24. Porn movies are designed with you in mind.
25. Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them.
26. Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So, notice anything different?"
And, Finally, . . . . . .
27. One mood, all the time.


If you girls can think of anything that makes YOU feel good to be a girl, let's have it...

Dunno what's going on with the pics.. the host I have them with is playing up yet again *sigh*.
I lost them ALL a few weeks back when they upgraded the servers.. now something else is going on and I know not what. Ah well.

Search engine referral: smell of cut grass jumping into fresh laundry

So THAT'S what my site smells like!

What does your site smell like, in 8 words or less...?

Me: Another junk email - men, add inches to your length and girth
Her: Have it removed altogether more like. It'll save a lot of room in bed.

Well, I'm not gonna whinge about complaints like that!!!